Self Compassion

Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism. (Dr. Kristen Neff, 2019)

I have posted this content before but I am talking to so many people these days who are judging themselves very harshly at the moment. These difficult times are not the time to be hard on yourself. Take it easy. You do not have to learn a new skill or bake the perfect loaf. You need to do what it takes to be as comfortable as possible and as happy as possible considering your circumstances.

Self-compassion is about being self-aware and taking time for yourself when things are not going well rather than trying to ignore your pain or telling yourself to “just get on with it”.  We all have things that we do not like about ourselves but we can be overly harsh in our criticism saying things to ourselves in our head that we would NEVER say to another person as they are too harsh.

We all need to take a little time and care to be nice to ourselves even when we are confronted with failure. None of us are perfect and we need to allow our faults and failings with the same compassion that we give to those that we love.  We are human and need to learn to understand and accept that as humans we are fallible and that is okay.

There are three elements of self-compassion according to Dr. Kristen Neff world renowned author on the subject.

1. Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment. Do something nice for yourself today and encourage those around you to do the same.

2. Common humanity vs. Isolation. Find ways to connect to those that are important to you and ignore the nasty news feeds and rhetoric that abounds.

3. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification. Be mindful and accept the situation that you are in without judgement. Know that every moment will change things and that this too shall pass.